i'm Erika. 24 y/o living in the PNW US

terfzillas:

logansshroyers:

honestly does it ever strike y'all how a lot of misogyny isn’t even “i hate women, they need to die” misogyny, but just a normalized belief in women’s innate inferiority? men don’t even have to explicitly state they think women are inferior, they let us know in their everyday words. like how “you cry/throw/act like a girl” has become an accepted way of saying “you are exhibiting weak behavior. do better.” and how casually men call women bitches and whores but there are literally no male equivalents of those slurs. if a man is called a “bitch” it means he’s imitating a woman, which is bad, and a man being called a “whore” is always referred to as a “man whore” because the word literally has been used in a way that makes women its main target.

for fuck’s sake, for a long time in american culture we used go call tank tops “wife beaters”. so much of misogyny is casual. like women are just living our lives with a deep understanding that men think we’re below them and always will be because our very existence is turned into insults to encourage men to “act like men”.

The evil is in the banal

musingsofatiredmind:

wedgemccloud:

biggestniq:

pulpmother:

pulpmother:

Abusive men pave the way for lazy men to get wives and girlfirends.

Lemme clarify, how many times have you heard your overworked female friends and relatives say “Yeah, Jerry drinks beer every evening after work while I cook dinner and clean up after everyone and does the bare minimum to help me raise the kids but he’s such a nice guy. He’s never beat me in my life. I couldn’t ask for a better guy in my life.”

Like no, Sally, your husband is a common stone among turds and you know it.

I try to explain this conceptually to people as a thing that happens not saying that this is good but it’s a thing that happens.

This is what male privilege is and how all men benefit from it.

This is why you are not exempt from statements about “all men” even if you are overall good.

You benefit from the bar constantly being lowered by systemic issues within the gender.

The expectations on you are always lower than they should because “at least you’re not X”.

That…is the best response I’ve seen to the “not all men” thing. Thank you.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

vajeentambourine:

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

cheekless0nion:

“Men are allowed to get their sense of self out of women’s selflessness, their sense of worth out of a projection of our worthlessness, their sense of power out of our powerlessness, their definition of beauty out of our degradation, their eroticism out of our denigration.”

— Catharine MacKinnon, “To Change the World for Women” in Butterfly Politics (2017), p.22. (via physicalfeministresources)

heringstuff:

retrolesbians:

image
image
image
image
image
image
image
image
image

“Romance is everything” - Gertrude Stein

Gertrude Stein and Alice Toklas with their dogs Basket and Pépé. The couple met in 1907 and stayed together for forty years until Steins death in 1947.

Two of my favorite things right there, lesbians and poodles.

trenchkamen:

gneebee:

tilthat:

TIL that prostitution was widely legal in the United States up until the early 1900’s, when the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union lobbied against it. This was the same union that was a driving force behind Prohibition in the 1920’s.

via reddit.com

Those chicks hated working women and good times

I do not know if this was just a pithy response, but responses like this pissed me off so much I thought I was going to start spitting blood when this Reddit thread first came around a few years back, and every time this issue comes back. I tried to go to sleep. But this kept running through my head, so here we are.

And this is addressed to all the redditors with the hot take that these women were, indeed, just fun-hating, jealous prudes:

You really have no theory of mind when it comes to women. You think they are just reactionary, shrieking, brainless, pearl-clutching harpies who hate fun and are only ~jealous~ of their husbands going to prostitutes. Marital rape was an oxymoron and the husband was within his legal and physical bounds to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, to his wife and children. The women had no rights to property, to keep their own wages, to hold a bank account, and there were few jobs for women other than domestic and prostitute. Schoolteachers and nurses, aside from requiring education working class women could not access, were paid a pittance, and in the former case were required to be unmarried in many places. So the husband was well within his rights to drink his family wages and leave his wife and children to starve in a slum tenement, and beat them when they complained. Divorce was no practical option, especially with children. The entire economic system was, and always was, set up so that women could not survive on their own, to force them into providing sexual access and domestic labor to men in exchange for sustenance. 

This was the era before antibiotics. Condoms were of poor quality and rarely used. (As if they could force their men to wear them in the first place; it would be a dreadful inconvenience for their poor dicks.) There was no cure for STDs like syphilis. These STDs were not only ultimately fatal, in many cases, but caused untold misery the whole way, and birth defects. And who is caring for the disabled child on top of her other children? The woman. (Oh, and banish the thought of a safe abortion, or a way for the woman to control her fertility. She was constantly bred because the husband either wanted those children or wanted sex and there was no effective birth control.) The husband would carry STDs from the whorehouses and give them to their wives. Stopping their husbands from frequenting prostitutes was not merely an issue of jealousy—it was a matter of existential survival for these women. Or a way of preventing themselves from becoming penniless widows. And they knew that most of the prostitutes were not ~independent working women~ in that era but exploited women, the worst thing you could become. What awaited you if you stepped out of line. They thought making prostitution illegal would liberate these poor creatures.

What were women to do? Speak about their sovereign rights? To speak plainly about the remedies—economic sovereignty, sexual freedom, the right to divorce and custody and education and standing—would get them laughed at by men already pissed they had just gotten the vote. So they had to focus on proximate causes: get rid of the alcohol, get rid of the whorehouses. A paltry, palliative measure, but what else could they do? They had to dress their concerns in the raiment of religion, one of the few acceptable fields women were allowed. Women were tasked the stabilizing force in society, the ones to marry off unstable, angry young men, absorb their violence, ‘settle’ them and force them to work a job, and produce the next generation of labor. And with that came their tasking to be the civilizing force, at that time inextricable with Christian morality. But there was a material reason behind their proselytizing—there always is, if you look closely enough, behind *anybody’s*. Sure, there were holy-roller true believers, but I bet the majority of women (and I must so bet, as history has seen to it their voices are lost) just wanted the beatings to end and food on the table, and relative safety from debilitating disease. I bet this because I see women as rational agents. Humans in an impossible situation, with no voice, living with their captors.

The factory jobs available to men were miserable, back-breaking labor, and hardly paid. This was the tail end of the era of radical labor rights movements, but there was a lot of misery, and those movements were eventually shut down, especially with the economic desperation of the depression. As it leads to drug use now in desperate, hollowed-out, post-industrial communities, so it led to drinking then. And disenfranchised groups have always found a group even lower on the social ladder than themselves to take out their anger. Women were always the punching bag and social safety valve. And a drunk, drugged population is not in much position to organize politically. There were few diversions – no television, no sports games, no entertainments – to mollify the working classes after their drudgery, so the bar was an incredibly attractive option. Oblivion was preferable to going back to the slums with screaming children underfoot in a filthy, tiny shack and a pissed off wife. Her anger may have been justified, but in the guy’s mind, she was just the shrew waiting to make his day worse. And, to those guys with a shred of decency, there was the shame in being reminded of how poorly his wages kept his family, how desperate and pointless the struggle, how they were running to stay in the same desperate place with no hope of advancement. Ashamed, depressed men lash out, even against those who they feel they have wronged.

The dispossessed men take it out on their women. This always, always, always happens.

Prohibition did not work. We know that now, with the power of hindsight. And the social fabric is utterly different, now: while women are by no means liberated, they can hold property, they can keep their own wages and assets, they have rights to their children, they can obtain education and jobs. Divorce from an alcoholic husband without landing in the gutter is a possibility. But to advance the narrative that prohibition was started by a bunch of fuddy-duddy no-fun busy-bodies who hated the idea of anybody having a good time is monstrous and shows only your contempt for women. You cannot know the fear and desperation of being trapped with a violent, alcoholic husband, several children, pregnant every year from marriage to menopause, and listening to your children crying with hunger while waiting for your husband to come back from the bar. And then you must approach him and ask for money. And you have nowhere to run. I wager you have never had to bury your own children dead of starvation and the diseases of poverty. There was nowhere for them to turn without you - orphanages a joke, these masses of children from these women who had no power to control their own fertility seen as labor at best and excess humanity, vermin, by most of society. And their alcoholic father would leave them to die while he drinks himself to death. So it’s you or nobody. 

What do you do? The possibilities on the outside for you, a fallen, divorced women, would be prostitution or penury. But you have one bit of power, now - you can vote. And women as a class share your interests. You would be shut down campaigning for full human rights, but if you dress your concerns up in religion, there is a chance. 

Of course, a hundred years in the future, men will use this as an example of how as soon as women are able to vote, they ruin everything. 

Andrea Dworkin’s Right-Wing Women is a brilliant and deeply-researched work on the phenomenon of the religious, conservative woman, and addresses why women are often the enforcers and lieutenants of religious morality and social conservatism, when it benefits them least. It is not because they are small-minded cunts with small spirits, any more than men on the average. There is a material and strategic reason, and the temperance movement is a perfect example of this. They are making a bargain within the confines of the tiny shred of power they are given.

And ask, always, before you condemn a group of women as a bunch of no-fun brainless shrieking reactionaries because they want to take away your toys: what material, rational reason might here be? Give them at least the dignity of being considered rational agents before you condemn.

profeminist:
“ “You know what amazes me? Women have access to guns every day and despite the way we are treated by society, by bosses, by men who claim to love us, we are not sending people bombs nor shooting up schools or churches with AR15s. Take a...

profeminist:

“You know what amazes me? Women have access to guns every day and despite the way we are treated by society, by bosses, by men who claim to love us, we are not sending people bombs nor shooting up schools or churches with AR15s. Take a lesson, men, and work on yourselves, not us.”

Victoria #VoteBlue Brownworth‏

ALSO:

image

Source

“On Sitting With Fear”

“Women live a life of sustained fear. Which is not to say that most women exist in a state of heightened anxiety at all times, but is to acknowledge the reality that our lives are fundamentally different from men’s because of a real threat of rape/violence at the hands of men, mostly men we know. (And because we are stupidly and wrongly tasked with its prevention.) Men’s and women’s lives are very different in that way.”

perf-terf:
“ Going without makeup is never a privilege for cis women. And recognizing that fact, and analyzing the social forces at work here, is not “shaming” the people who wear it.
We are shamed for not wearing makeup. People ask us if we’re...

perf-terf:

Going without makeup is never a privilege for cis women. And recognizing that fact, and analyzing the social forces at work here, is not “shaming” the people who wear it.

We are shamed for not wearing makeup. People ask us if we’re tired, or sick. Our careers are penalized for it. (x) (x) (x) Butch lesbians who don’t wear makeup have it especially hard, as they experience prejudice on multiple fronts - prejudice resulting from misogyny, prejudice resulting from being not gender conforming, prejudice from homophobia, and homophobic prejudice of the special variety that lesbians experience - lesbophobia - for the fact that they’re women who are not sexually available to men.

What you’re actually saying is that “women don’t necessarily need to wear makeup in order to be read as female.” And that’s true. I “pass” as a woman whether I’m wearing makeup or not. In other words, I experience misogyny regardless of how well my appearance conforms to socially constructed notions of gender performance. 

So, the implication of your conclusion is that these women don’t need to go to an effort to have their “gender identity” validated. This is true, in the sense that I don’t have to do anything special to be read as female. Long hair, short hair, makeup, no makeup, people are going to glance at me and know that I’m female. However, being read as female is never a privilege.

Being perceived as female, regardless of how you identify, makes you vulnerable to both sex-based and gender-based oppression. Not only will you, in the Western world at least, be catcalled and harassed (whether you’re wearing makeup or not), implicitly considered less intelligent than your male counterparts, and be paid less, you’ll be exposed to oppression rooted solely on the basis of biological sex as well. The component of sex in the dynamics between men and women’s power imbalances is immutable. Indeed, it’s the root cause. If you are female, not just perceived as female, you’ll be susceptible to sex-based oppression, however that manifests in your particular culture - ranging from access to contraceptions and abortion, to femicide. Sex-based oppression is a global phenomenon.

I am not privileged for being born in a female body. Period. It is not possible for you to be oppressed on precisely the same axis as you are privileged.

Transwomen who don’t experience dysphoria, and aren’t read as women (or even read as trans), do not experience systematic misogyny. They can’t. Systematic oppression is intrinsically tied to the social world, so indivisible from how we are perceived by the rest of our social network.

botanyshitposts:
“ botanyshitposts:
“ botanyshitposts:
“ botanyshitposts:
“ botanyshitposts:
“ botanyshitposts:
“idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high...

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

botanyshitposts:

idk how the hell i’ve run a blog called ‘botanyshitposts’ for almost four years now without ever thinking to talk about this but in high school my little brother wanted a pet that wouldnt die so we got him a moss ball for $8 at a pet store and he named it tiki and it lives in this dedicated plastic tank at our parents’ house even though we’re both at college now. usually it doesnt do anything but over the past two weeks of winter break our family has watched in horror as it has gone about the process of slowly and ominously rising from its usual position at the depths of its abode to the top, where it now floats with gravel bits stuck to it from literal years of not moving. my mom has moved it to behind the sink so now whenever i go to wash my hands in the kitchen i have to face it and im scared

just squeezed all the water out of her like yall said in the replies and i put her back and shes still floating….maybe she just likes it up there

image

update: she sank to the bottom and stayed there for days and i thought this story was over until i WALKED OVER TO THE SINK JUST NOW

image
image
image
image
image
image
image

test: pet her, tell her she is a good moss ball

results: she sit 

wild things about this post:

-the amount of porn bots mass reblogging this bc of the word ‘ball’

-the amount of people with extensive knowledge about native moss ball habitats and care coming out of the woodwork to reply to this post 

-the amount of people endeared and riveted by her ongoing performance

cabwaylingo:

watsonarchetype:

good news everyone. crows no longer need instructions to build tools and have started building them from memory, as well as passing the knowledge onto future generations of crows. oops!

better news everyone. crows have learned to construct these tools from unrelated items! they no longer need to follow the original blueprint they were given and are able to improvise using their surroundings.